Carers Week

This week is Carers Week — 8 to 14 June — and this year's theme is Building Carer Friendly Communities.

These people quietly, consistently show up for someone else. A parent. A partner. A sibling. A friend whose needs have grown beyond what anyone planned for. People who often don't think of themselves as 'carers' at all — they're just doing what needs doing.

It's estimated there are around 72,000 - 90,000 carers in West Sussex, 5.7 million nationally. That's an extraordinary number of people whose daily lives are shaped by someone else's needs — and who are, in large part, holding the social care system together without recognition, formal support, or pay.

The emotional weight of caring is significant and well-evidenced. More than three-quarters of unpaid carers report experiencing burnout. Nearly half say they have suffered depression as a direct result of their caring role. Over a third haven't taken a single break in the past year.

Those statistics describe real lives. They describe people who are exhausted not from doing nothing, but from doing too much, for too long, without enough support.

One thing I've noticed in my work with anyone who cares in some way for someone else is how quietly the identity shift happens. You start as a husband, a daughter, a friend, and gradually, almost without noticing, caring becomes the primary thing. The thing your days are organised around. The thing you can't easily step away from, even for an hour.

What often gets lost in that shift is a sense of yourself as someone with needs too. Not instead of the person you're caring for — alongside them. It's not selfish to notice that. It's honest. When we stop having space for our own emotional life, it doesn't disappear. It accumulates. And it tends to surface eventually — in exhaustion, in a short fuse, in a kind of flatness that's hard to name.

Counselling for carers often isn't about crisis. It's more often about having somewhere to put things down for a while. To talk about what it's like — the frustration, the love, the grief that can coexist with caring, the parts that are genuinely hard — without editing yourself for the sake of someone else's feelings. Sometimes it's about rediscovering who you are when you're not in the caring role. What you enjoy. What you need. What you'd like your life to look like.

What I'd gently say to anyone who is caring for someone they love is this: you are not exempt from needing support. The fact that someone else's needs feel bigger than yours doesn't make yours less real. If you've been putting yourself last for a while, and something in you recognises what you've read here — that's worth paying attention to.

I offer counselling in Midhurst and the surrounding areas, as well as online. If you're a carer looking for a space that's genuinely yours, you're welcome to get in touch today.

Further local support

1. Carers Support West Sussex — Chichester Team The main organisation for your area. They run carer hubs, support groups, wellbeing events, and a helpline. 📞 0300 028 8888 | 🌐 carerssupport.org.uk/local-chichester

2. Midhurst Community Hub A local hub in Midhurst that supports community wellbeing — worth connecting with directly as they may run or host groups for carers locally. 🌐 midhurstcommunityhub.co.uk

3. Family Support Work — Petworth & Midhurst Offers support to families in the Petworth and Midhurst area 🌐 familysupportwork.org/petworthmidhurst

4. West Sussex Mind Provides mental health and wellbeing support across the county, including for carers. 🌐 westsussexmind.org

5. Carers Together — Hampshire (covering Petersfield & Liphook) A carer-led charity serving carers across Hampshire, including Petersfield and Liphook. Their Carers Listening Line runs 365 days a year: Mon–Fri 10am–8pm, weekends/bank holidays 10am–4pm. 🌐 connecttosupporthampshire.org.uk